Hidamari Sketch: Tsundere
by Zokusho
Summary: Natsume angsts over Sae, basically. Not that good, probably because I just don't "feel" the angst. I just wanted to write a Natsume-Sae fanfic, because not many or none of them seemed to exist. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Hidamari Sketch: Tsundere, Chapter 1**

Not very good, I'm afraid, but I'm publishing this anyway, 'cause I've got to get this off my chest. I don't think there were any Natsume+Sae fics around yet? Despite having so little screen time (haven't seen the manga yet), Natsume is perhaps my favorite character in Hidamari Sketch.

I don't own Hidamari Sketch and its characters.

* * *

"What's up?" a familiar voice asked.

"Sae!" Natsume gasped. She was holding a mitten and looking around, and feeling stupid now that Sae saw it.

"What are you doing? Today's a day off. Don't tell me you forgot and came to school anyway," Sae said. Oddly, Sae was wheeling a bicycle along.

"_Where did she get that?"_ Natsume thought. _"Is she going to ride that bicycle? She's so athletic. I want to see her pedaling. She's wearing pants! Her legs … thighs moving … her butt on that saddle. Is she going to be sweaty afterwards? She will come home and take off her clothes and take a shower … why isn't it a tandem bike, I might join her …"_

Natsume realized now she was also staring at Sae like an idiot, jaw hanging open. To hide her embarrassment, she pretended to be annoyed.

"I came to help out with the exams, rather than slacking off just like you!" she snapped.

Sae frowned a bit, and asked, "So, what are you doing now?"

"_Nothing, I just want to take a 'ride' with you, if you catch my drift!"_ Natsume wanted to say.

"Uh … a girl dropped this at the shoe lockers," Natsume said, showing the mitten in her hand, "I went after her but lost her. She must be at the station by now."

"I see," Sae said. Not that she actually 'saw' anything – Natsume always acted arrogant and competitive, and this was a bit unusual. _"Maybe it's just me who ticks her off for some reason. If I help her with this, maybe she changes her attitude."_

She mounted the bicycle, and added, "We can still catch her. Hop on."

Natsume gasped and turned red. _"Oh my God, she really means I should sit behind her! .. with my arms around her … my body against her –"_

"Hurry up!" Sae said.

Hesitatingly, Natsume sat down onto the carrier.

"Hold on tight."

Natsume was happy that Sae couldn't see her face right now. _"… my arms … around Sae,"_ she thought. _"Did I just die and go to heaven?"_

To her utter frustration, she could not press herself against Sae's back, because she feared she would feel her heart racing – and certain parts of her anatomy on her chest which just got painfully hard. She had also to squeeze her fingers together so tight that they started to ache, because her hands would tremble crazily unless she did. The thin steel wires of the carrier were painful on her behind.

Despite the pain and frustration, she wished the ride would never end.

"Do you remember what she looks like?"

Natsume could only manage to let out a weird, high-pitched gasp, which she hoped would sound like an affirmation.

* * *

Natsume noticed that they were almost back at the school. _"Why! Why does this have to end …"_

"I'll drop you off at school. I'm going to Berry Mart, I was supposed to buy snacks for Hiro and the others…" Sae muttered.

"_Hiro! Always Hiro. Hiro this, Hiro that … Hiro Hiro Hiro! Why did you mention your lover again!"_ Natsume thought. She felt the stinging pain of jealousy and envy, but it was quickly replaced by overwhelming loneliness. Unable to control herself any longer, she started to sob and whimper, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Natsume?" Sae said, and stopped the bike. "What's wrong?"

"_Ditch that cooking mama and take me instead!"_ was what she wanted to reply.

"I just got something in my eye!" Natsume said, knowing it was probably the lamest excuse ever.

"Oh? Show me your eye. Which one is it?" Sae said, grabbed Natsume's jaw, and stared intensely at her eyes.

"_You've got to be kidding me!"_ Natsume thought. _"Are you doing this on purpose? Don't you see what you are doing to me!"_ she screamed in her mind, but couldn't say it aloud.

"Stupid!" she yelled at Sae, yanked herself free, and ran towards the school gates, crying aloud. She didn't want anyone else to see her, so she ran into the school garden. There, she slumped down at the root of a tree and cried her heart out. As she guessed, Sae didn't follow her, which made her even sadder. _"She's so ignorant … yet I don't want her to see me like this … no, I want her to comfort me, to hug me and tell me it's okay … I bet she hugs her precious Hiro every day … they are so much in love with each other …"_

"Stupid Sae," she muttered. "No, stupid me … I'm so pathetic …"

* * *

"_It will be spring break soon. This might be my last chance, since they don't have lunch here that often,"_ Natsume thought. It was another day at school. She had just come to the school cafeteria and saw Sae, and inevitably, her three friends, sitting at a table together. _"I must go to her and say something, right now!"_

"_But what should I say … hi, Sae-san, I've been reading your stories from the moment they started to publish and I love them … no, I could never say that! Sae-san, I read your last story and I kind of liked it? I sent you a fan letter … no, I can't tell her that! Especially with her friends listening …"_

Natsume walked to Sae. The four friends stopped their conversation – Miyako didn't stop eating, though – and everyone looked at her.

"So … where do they publish your fables, Sae?" she said. _"Damn! That came out completely wrong!"_

Sae blushed and turned her eyes away.

"Natsume-san, please don't ask Sae-san such things. She doesn't want her schoolmates to read her stories," Hiro said.

"Hah! What's the point to publish such romantic tales if nobody reads them?" Natsume said. _"Oh no, that was even worse! I didn't mean to say that!"_

"Romantic tales?" Sae said, glancing at Natsume.

"What, love stories? Is that what you write, Sae-san?" Miyako said, her mouth half-full of udon noodles.

"Well, you could call it that. Natsume, how did you know what kind of stories I write?" Sae said.

"I … just guessed that's what you would write! Something mushy!" Natsume said, and realized she was talking herself into deeper trouble. This annoyed her to no end. Whatever she meant, today the words just came out wrong.

Hiro said something that was meant as a polite, gentle reprimand. Natsume couldn't quite get it, and glanced at her. _"Hiro … why do you always worry about your weight? You look great! It's no wonder Sae likes you. You are so feminine. So curvy … and you have a great booty …"_ she thought. But what came out of her mouth was, "Shut up! I'm talking with Sae, you fat-ass!"

Immediately, she realized that she had really screwed up this time. She never meant to say anything that bad. And she didn't hate Hiro at all – how could she hate someone Sae liked? Even if they were lovers … no, Hiro did not deserve that.

But it was too late now. Natsume turned on her heels and ran away, not wanting to see what would happen or how Hiro and Sae would react.

She was not quite quick enough, and heard Hiro starting to sob, which almost broke her heart. She ran blindly along the corridor, entered the first door she could find, and slumped down onto the floor. Fortunately, it happened to be a closet.

"What have I done!" she moaned. Tears started to flow down her cheeks. "Sae will never forgive me for saying such things …"

She skipped the rest of the day, and sneaked out of the school quietly when the afternoon classes had started. She just couldn't face Sae and Hiro at the moment.

"Damn. I left my bag in class … I must come back and get it after school …"

* * *

After school, Natsume was herself standing at the school gates, and realized she was facing the Hidamari apartments, where Sae and Hiro lived. She couldn't stop the tears coming out again, even when she was in public. _"What can I do? Sae must hate me now …"_

She jolted violently as a voice behind her said, "Good afternoon!"

Natsume turned around and stuttered, "Yo-yoshinoa-sensei! G-good af-f…" while trying to wipe her eyes. "I just got dust in my eyes! It's n-nothing …"

"Natsume? Why are you crying? Is it about a boy?"

"No!"

"A girl?"

"Yes!" she answered, and added right away, "I mean, no! Nothing like that!"

"Love between girls is very beautiful!" Yoshinoya said.

"Sensei, please …"

"But love often hurts," a male voice said. "Like the fact that I have to drag you back into the school to finish your paperwork," the headmaster said, and started to drag Yoshinoya by her collar.

"H-headmaster! Sorry, I got to go!" she gasped, bowed, and hurried across the street.

"Remember, it's still better to love and get hurt than not to love at all," the headmaster said.

"_Eww! I don't want advice from an old geezer like that!"_ Natsume thought, but didn't dare to say anything. She couldn't help considering the words, though. _"I must do something … even if I get hurt, I have to!"_

She stopped at Hidamari apartments. _"Hiro. I must go to Hiro and apologize. What if she's still crying … I can't stand it …"_ she thought.

It took at least five minutes before she had gathered enough courage to ring the doorbell. She was unable to think of anything to say, other than "I'm sorry".

As Hiro opened the door, Natsume couldn't say anything. Instead, she just burst into tears and cried.

Hiro was not crying, though, and she didn't even look that sad.

"Natsume-san? Maybe you'd better come in?" Hiro said.

Subdued and quiet, she obeyed Hiro.

For a long while, she just sat at Hiro's table, not saying anything. Hiro made tea, brought her a cup, and sat down at the other side of the table.

Natsume's jaw twitched. A couple of tears fell into the tea, but she forced herself to stop, and said, "I'm sorry, Hiro. I didn't mean to say … that. And you are not fat."

"Yes, I am!" Hiro said emphatically. "I have gained three kilos since last week!"

"No! You are perfect. You got a great body. It's no wonder Sae likes … I mean, lots of girls would envy your figure!" Natsume said. Her head was buzzing in all sorts of emotions and it was really hard not to blurt out something she didn't want to say.

For a couple of minutes, they were quiet, sipping the tea. Natsume took a timid look at Hiro, and saw that she was smiling. _"Of course, she's having fun at my expense. I'm so ridiculous … well, I deserve it. I should have never called you fat …"_

"You know, Natsume-san … I wanted to hug Sae once and to cry against her shoulder, and she put a pillow in between of us."

"Wh-what has that got to do with anything?" Natsume stuttered.

"I mean that Sae and I are just very good friends, nothing more," Hiro explained, smiling.

"Why did you tell me that? Like I would care," Natsume said, trying to sound casual, even as her heart had missed a few beats after hearing that. She felt her cheeks burning as well.

Hiro smiled slightly, and said quietly, "Sorry, I just somehow thought you would like to know…"

"Hmph. Anyway … I said I'm sorry, and I'll be going now. Good night," Natsume said, bowed a bit, and closed the door. A huge grin spread onto her face when Hiro could not see her anymore. _"They are not lovers! I might still have a chance!"_

Next, she found herself standing at Sae's door, her finger almost on the doorbell.

At that point, her momentarily good mood quickly faded away. _"No, no! I can not disturb her at this hour. I wouldn't know what to say … and so what if she doesn't care about Hiro that way! That doesn't mean she cares for me, at all … she barely knows me. And she probably has several boyfriends … I mean girlfriends … she's so popular … I don't stand a chance anyway …"_ she thought, her heart sinking through the porch floor.

Just as she was about to turn and walk away, Sae opened her door. "Natsume?"

"Gyaah! What are you doing, surprising me like that! I wasn't going to visit you! I was j-just …" Natsume stuttered.

"Come on in," Sae said. "I need to talk to you."

In a stupor, Natsume went in, took off her shoes, and sat down on Sae's couch.

"Hiro just sent me mail. Thank you for coming all the way here and apologizing. She also said …" Sae said, but she didn't continue.

Natsume's jaw twitched, but she forced herself not to cry. "Umm … I … I have a terrible headache, I can't think straight," she muttered. That was actually true – she had developed a headache.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Come here and lie down on my bed," Sae said.

"_I'm not ready for that yet! It would be my first time …"_ was Natsume's first thought. She knew the suggestion had been completely innocent, but she felt her cheeks turning red again – and her headache got worse.

"I'll dim the lights. You just rest here for a while. I don't think I have any medicine. I could ask Hiro?"

Natsume just shook her head a bit. She had lied down on her back and closed her eyes. So she had gotten into Sae's bed. Not exactly in the way she had imagined. The bed smelled like Sae, which made her cheeks burn even more.

She heard Sae walking around and the sound of running water. Then, something cold was pressed onto her forehead.

"Here's a wet towel, maybe it helps."

Sae being nice and caring for her had its usual effect on Natsume: she just had to start arguing. This time, however, she couldn't come up with anything unrelated to the situation.

"Why do you torture me like this?" she moaned.

"What?"

"You've been doing this for a while. Like, why didn't you just lend me that bike?"

"What?"

"What? What?" Natsume mimicked Sae. "I could have pedaled to the station and back in a flash! Why did you tell me to hop on? It was much slower too."

Sae blushed. "Umm … I …" she muttered. She didn't want to say she just didn't think of that solution, and even less that she would admit that she had _wanted_ Natsume on her carrier, her arms around her. "Well, why didn't you just ask me to lend the bike?"

"You still don't get it!"

"I don't understand, Natsume."

"You are always so nice to me and …"

After a moment of silence, Sae said, "I still don't understand. Don't you want to be friends with me? You've been acting weird for a long time. Could you tell me about it? What is wrong with you?"

Natsume sighed deeply. Maybe it was time to admit it. Even, if she would be rejected. Certainly she would be rejected. How could someone as cool as Sae care about her? So, gathering all her courage, Natsume started with the least embarrassing truth. "I wrote that fan letter!"

Sae's jaw dropped and she just stared at her.

"I feel so stupid now … I'm so embarrassing … go on, laugh at me … I shouldn't have said it! …" Natsume said, fighting back tears. "If you want to make me laughing stock of the entire school, you can just tell everyone!"

It took a moment before Sae was able to reply. "No, I won't tell anyone if you don't want to. But Natsume, that's wonderful. Why didn't you tell me earlier? That letter was really touching and it helped me with my work. I keep the letter in the top drawer and read it often. Thank you, Natsume! … but I still don't understand why you … you …"

At this point, Sae finally started to realize what was going on. "Natsume! Are you …"

"Am I what? A pathetic, sad, lonely girl who has to read such mushy stories in secret?"

"No …"

"I'm a weakling. I can't even beat you in athletics. I can't even draw or paint as well as you. And certainly I could never write better. I can't even cook at all, like Hiro! And Hiro is better looking too … Yuno is much more cute, Miyako has much better body … I'm such an utter loser. How could I think that you would _ever_ like me?"

"N-Natsume …" Sae gasped. She was twitching oddly.

"What?"

Sae removed her glasses. And to Natsume's shock, she saw Sae was in tears.

"Sae! No!" Natsume almost screamed, and tried to raise herself up, but her hands felt weak at the moment. "You can't cry! You are so strong, so cool … please don't cry!"

"Of course I like you, Natsume! That's why I try to be nice to you. That's why I wanted to give you a lift on the bike. But you were always so … competitive. I thought you saw me just as a rival."

"S-Sae … when you say you like me … do you mean … as a friend?" Natsume said. She slumped back down onto the bed and closed her eyes. She could not look. The burning question, the one she had feared the most. She couldn't imagine being just friends with Sae. That could never work.

The next few seconds felt like an eternity.

* * *

Oops, I forgot to conclude it! (#n_n#) Anyway, I don't think this worked well. I'm not feeling any angst myself, maybe that's why.

If you really want this to continue, just say so in a review or at my forum (Zokusho's Mostly Lucky Star Forum). Feel free to suggest what should happen, if you want.

I'll begin working on Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! Second Season (I might call it 'Dare!') next year (at the earliest), and before that, it will be little sketches like this.


	2. The Only Way Is Up

**Hidamari Sketch: Tsundere, Chapter 2: The Only Way Is Up**

Natsume hits the rock-bottom – fortunately the only way from there is up. Then, this just kept becoming longer and longer, without even anything happening, and not making much sense … ah well, maybe someone enjoys it.

I don't own Hidamari Sketch and its characters.

* * *

Sae cleared her throat, and muttered, "Umm … well …"

"_So she doesn't like girls! Or she just doesn't like me … that must be it!"_ Natsume thought. She felt really stupid again. _"Silly me. Of course Sae would have told me long ago, if she was interested! She's so experienced. I must … never bother her again …"_

Natsume jumped up, and yelled, "Oh! Look at the time! I got to go!" Before Sae had time to react, she dashed to the lobby, grabbed her shoes, and got out, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Wait, Natsume! I wanted to say that I …" Sae said, but Natsume was already gone. "Darn."

Natsume ran along the darkening streets, not stopping even to wear her shoes.

After running for two blocks, her legs gave way and she collapsed onto the sidewalk. She bruised her knees badly, but the pain was minor compared to the one within. _"I'm such a loser. Of course she doesn't care for me. Nobody cares for me. I'm ugly, and shy, and stupid. I will never have a love partner anyway."_

"_Too bad I'm still at school. Otherwise I would never come out. I would just stay inside my room like those dropouts … never to meet anyone in real life. I always just mess up things and make others hate me."_

She rubbed her knee and saw her hand was bloody. _"I deserve the pain …"_

Sighing, she put on her shoes, took her bag and started to trundle towards home.

Normally, she took the bus, but tonight she didn't mind walking for five miles. At this hour, all the streets were empty. As if everyone else in the world had disappeared. _"I would like that …"_

"Maybe this is for the best. Sae deserves to have someone better. There are so many people who love her, so she can just pick out the best ones. And I'm obviously not included!" she muttered.

Finally, Natsume came home and found it quiet – her parents were already asleep or away. She thought of mother comforting her, but forced herself to stop. _"I'm not a child anymore. I must handle this myself."_

She got into her room, picked all the pictures of Sae off her cork board, shredded them as small as she could and threw them into the trash. She did the same for all the love letters she had written.

"_There. That's it. No more thinking about Sae – or anyone. I'm going to be alone and miserable for the rest of my life."_

She went to the bathroom, cleaned her bruises, and cringed as the hot water of the bath stung them. _"Pain … pain is good. I'm always going to be in pain, so I'd better get used to it."_

All the pain and desperation actually made her feel better. There was no way but up from the rock-bottom.

"_I have to finish high school, because it would be a waste of my parents' money if I didn't. Maybe I'll kill myself after graduation,"_ she thought. _"… nah, I'm not going to kill myself. That would be too easy … I deserve a long, miserable life …"_

* * *

Next morning, the sun was shining. Now that Natsume had given up on ever being happy in her life, this in itself made her feel free – and strangely happy.

She saw Sae and her three friends coming over the street. That didn't bother her. _"She can be lovers with all those girls for all I care!"_

Sae saw her and said something to her friends. They went ahead, and Sae walked towards Natsume. She stopped in front of her but didn't say anything.

Natsume just glared at her. "What? Is there ink on my nose?"

"Natsume …" Sae said. She looked a bit tired and flustered.

"What is it? I don't have much time, you know," Natsume said, looking at her wrist watch.

"Last night –"

"Would you just forget about last night! I had such a bad headache I didn't even know what I was saying! I –"

"Natsume! Please listen to me!" Sae yelled. She had turned red.

Surprised, Natsume shut up.

"I just wanted to say that I do like you! But …"

"You do, b-but?" Natsume gasped. Now she had turned red as well.

"I don't even know you yet! So … I want to go out with you first. Is tomorrow okay?"

Several seconds passed as Natsume tried to comprehend what was just said. "… o-on a date?"

"Yes."

Natsume's jaw twitched. Quickly, she turned around. "This can't be happening! Just when I thought I was finally over you!" she thought. Actually, she was thinking aloud, but she didn't realize it.

She took a deep breath, and turned around again, facing Sae. "Okay. I'll go out with you … if you apologize first!"

"I'm sorry, Natsume! … umm, I don't even know why I have to apologize?" Sae said.

"… I … I don't know either! But I'm sure you deserved to!" Natsume said. She felt her cheeks burning and her heart pounding, but she forced herself to keep her cool. "What comes to tomorrow, well, I'll have to check my calendar … maybe I already had a date for tomorrow… so I'll tell you later. The class is starting."

"Can I see you at the cafeteria at lunchtime?" Sae asked, as Natsume was already turning away.

"Okay, whatever!" Natsume shouted, and ran away.

* * *

Natsume had come to the cafeteria as early as she could and settled into the smallest table in the corner. It was a familiar place to her, because most of the time, she had it all to herself. Nobody else would join her. It had only three chairs – today, Natsume had also removed one of the chairs, trying to make sure only Sae could sit with her.

Sae did come, as she had promised, but it took for a couple of minutes before she found Natsume. Natsume wanted to wave to her and call her, but she found that too embarrassing to do in a cafeteria full of people.

As Sae finally found her and sat down, she tried to look indifferent. "Oh. Hello. So you did come. I wasn't really expecting that," she said.

"So, about our … hm, date, tomorrow … Saturday. Is three o'clock afternoon okay?" Sae asked.

"Are you going to pick me up? … no, you don't have a car. With that bicycle of yours? Or what?"

Sae looked a bit puzzled. "With bicycle? It's not really my bicycle, but I'm sure I can lend it tomorrow."

"Fine. And since it was you who asked me out, you are paying!"

"Okay. I thought we could go –"

"Don't tell me. I'd like it to be a surprise. But I expect to have dinner, at least."

Sae smiled. "Of course. It's my treat."

"Fine. Should I dress up or it is just casual?"

"Dress up for riding a bicycle?"

"Oh. Right … what? Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Natsume said, rummaging through her handbag, and not looking at Sae.

Sae had begun to understand that this was just the way Natsume always behaved, and that it wasn't anything personal. So, she tried to hide her amusement, and just said, "No. Not at all. I will come to pick you up tomorrow, then."

"Fine. Whatever. See you," Natsume said. She tried to look busy, filing her nails.

Sae looked at her, stood up and walked away. As she was just about to leave the cafeteria, she realized she had not eaten and was still carrying her lunch box. "Darn."

Natsume looked at the clock, and muttered, "Oops. I forgot to buy any lunch."

* * *

Tomorrow, Natsume took a bath, washed, dried and brushed her hair into perfection, and started to look for clothes.

"I don't have anything to wear!" she groaned, looking at her closet.

Of course, she had plenty of clothes. But at the moment, none of them felt casual enough and yet good enough for Sae to see. "Bah, maybe I should have asked Sae to wear the school uniform, so that I could have worn it too …"

Thinking of Sae in school uniform made her not only feel warm inside, but she also remember the sketches in the bottom drawer. "Oh. I forgot to get rid of those. And now I regret shredding the photos of her … I didn't even have that many …"

The cork board on the wall looked very empty.

Sighing, Natsume sat down at her table and looked at herself in the mirror. "I don't even have any make-up. I don't even know how to make-up …"

"And how will she like my body …" she muttered, looking at herself. "I'm not as curvy as that freshman," – she meant Miyako – "and not cute like that small girl" – meaning Yuno. "And Hiro … she's so pretty … I can never compete with her …"

"_What the heck am I thinking? It's not like she will see my body anyway … uhh … I never thought of it. What if she does want to see my body? What if she wants to … no, not on a first date! That's not appropriate … I hope. But what do I know? She's the experienced one."_

Suddenly, she was frightened by it. _"Does she realize I have never even kissed anyone? I can't tell her! That would be much too weird!"_

"Oh, by the way, Sae! Before we go out, I should mention that I'm a virgin!" Natsume said. It sounded so ridiculous that she had to laugh.

"_Yeah, that would be the crowning moment. I've embarrassed myself so many times and yet, Sae is taking me out. Maybe she's having a laugh at my expense__.__"_

Natsume grabbed the first top and skirt she had considered wearing, and put them on.

"_If she is, well, it's better than nothing. At least I get to be with her today. Until she realizes how sad case I am. Or maybe it's a set-up. Her friends follow us, then pop up in the middle of our supposed date and laugh at me."_

* * *

The doorbell rang. Natsume screamed, "I'll get it!" and ran to open the door.

"Mo-om! Stop peeking!" she yelled, when she saw her mother looking out of the kitchen doorway.

"What? Is that your friend at the door?"

"Yes! I told you I was going to meet someone! So, please …"

"But I want to see your little friend!" her mother said, stepping into the lobby.

"She's not my little friend! I'm not a child anymore!"

"So how old is your boyfriend?"

"She's not my boyfriend!"

"She?"

"She's my schoolmate, Sae. Now, mom, would you please let me open the door!"

"Sae? The one you …"

"Mom!" Natsume screamed, starting to sound a bit hysterical.

"Okay, I'm going … but you got to introduce her to me."

The doorbell rang again. Natsume forgot about her mother and rushed to open the door, fearing Sae would leave.

"Oh, it's just you," Natsume said. "You are early. I had no time to prepare at all. I guess you have to come in for a while."

Pretending not to pay attention to Sae at all, she got upstairs into her room. Sae was following, though.

"_Good thing I cleared that board …"_ Natsume thought.

"Your room is very nice and clean, Natsume," Sae said. "Why don't you hang out any of your works on the walls?" she added, looking at the empty cork board.

"Hah!" Natsume said. "I don't think I have ever made anything worth hanging on a wall."

"But I've seen some of your works at school. You are much better at drawing than me," Sae said.

Natsume picked up her handbag and glared at Sae. _"You can't seriously mean that!"_ she thought, but she couldn't say it. Instead, she just said, "Really?" with a disbelieving tone in her voice. "Anyway, I got my things, we can go now."

They bumped into Natsume's mother in the lobby. "Oh, you are Sae, who writes those light novels?" she said. "Natsu-chan talks about you all the time! Would you like to have a cup of tea?"

"Mom!" Natsume gasped, and turned as red as a tomato.

Sae let out a weird sound, which was actually suppressed chuckle. "T-thank you, a cup of tea would be great," she said, and bowed.

"Sit down, make yourself at home," Natsume's mother said, leading them into the living room.

Sae and Natsume sat down at the table. An awkward silence followed.

Desperately, Natsume tried to think of something to say. "Sae! I thought you were going to take me out, we shouldn't be staying …"

"But it would be rude to leave just like that, when your mother is offering us tea. Let's drink it and then leave, okay?"

"O-okay …" Natsume sighed.

"Anyway, I'm amazed about your house. It's really big. Your family is wealthy?"

"Yeah, I guess …" Natsume said.

"So, are you one of Natsu-chan's classmates?" Natsume's mother said, when she returned, carrying a tray. Before Sae had time to answer, she went on, "I always thought Natsu-chan might study arts. She started drawing when she was three years old. Hm, I might have some of her earliest drawings around here somewhere. Would you like to see –"

"Mom! Please!" Natsume gasped. The bright red color had again returned onto her cheeks.

"Come to think of it … your face looks familiar," Natsume's mother said, looking at Sae. "Have we met before?"

"No, ma'am, I don't think so," Sae answered.

Natsume's mother stared at Sae, making her uncomfortable. "Now I know! You are one of her models! Natsu-chan has drawn and painted you a lot –"

At this point, Natsume's mother blushed. "D-do you do much of modeling? Does it pay well?"

Sae looked at her, dumbfounded.

Natsume's jaw had dropped. Only a gurgle escaped from her lips. She wanted to scream, to stop her mother saying anything, but she just couldn't speak due to the shock.

"Umm … ma'am, I don't understand …" Sae said.

"I mean … uhh … all that nude modeling? I know, I know, it is art, nothing wrong in that. I just find it a bit … I mean, I wouldn't like _my_ daughter doing it … your school is a co-ed school, so there are boys in there, and – " Natsume's mother explained.

"Ma'am? Modeling … in the nude? I have never done anything like that! How –" Sae gasped.

By now, Natsume's face had a very artistic selection of different shades of red. She wanted to sink through the floor and disappear.

Natsume's mother looked at them puzzled, not understanding what the problem was.

* * *

They had finally managed to escape Natsume's home.

Natsume could not even look at Sae. She just stared at the ground.

"Natsu … chan?" Sae said quietly.

This shook Natsume out of her trance. "Never call me that!"

"You have been drawing me? … and … in the nude? But how …"

"Aargh! That was the most embarrassing moment of my life!" Natsume screamed.

"But I never modeled for you. Definitely not in the nude," Sae noted.

Natsume glared at her.

"Uh … sorry. Let's forget about that and go. Hop onto the carrier," Sae said.

This time, Natsume wrapped her arms around Sae and pressed her cheek against her back. _"I guess I must enjoy this as long as it lasts... Which is probably, like, just today."_

The bicycle hit a small pothole. "Ouch," Natsume said involuntarily.

"Are you okay, Natsume?"

"Yeah. Great. I love getting bruises on my bum," Natsume answered in a sarcastic tone. As long as she was this close to Sae, that was the truth. Natsume forced herself not to giggle.

"I thought we could go to see this new shopping mall first," Sae said, after a few more minutes.

"Oh. Sure. I haven't been there yet, actually," Natsume said.

Sae stopped the bike. Sighing, Natsume got off of it. Sae parked the bike and they went inside through the automatic doors.

Sae stopped to look at the sign which had the map of the place and listed the businesses.

"Hey, there's an artists' shop. Maybe we should check it. Or does that feel too much like schoolwork?" Sae asked.

Natsume cleared her throat. Now that she had an actual complaint, she hesitated to tell about it. "In fact … it does. At the moment, I don't want to see any brushes or paints. I'd rather check out the clothing stores."

"Oh, okay –"

"We can go to that artists' shop later!" Natsume said quickly. "I-if you want … I mean …"

Sae took a puzzled look at Natsume. "Natsume, just relax. I want to go wherever you want to go … this day is for you."

Natsume turned around and started to walk, because she wanted to hide her blush. "In that case, I want to check that store first!"

"Eh? Goth-loli?"

* * *

Natsume had taken several outfits into the fitting room.

Sae had been waiting for a good while. She moved right next to the curtain, about to ask how long she would take, but she heard Natsume muttering, "Should I say, 'I liked you the moment we first met'? No, that's so corny!"

"_She's practicing a confession?"_ Sae thought. Quietly, she moved away, not wanting to embarrass Natsume.

Finally, Natsume came out and said, "So, how do I look?" She had quickly found an outfit she liked, but had had to gather her courage to show it to Sae.

Sae stared at her with her mouth open. Natsume was wearing a low-necked, frilled black top, a matching black skirt, long, green stockings, black dress shoes, and a green and black striped long glove on her right hand. She had also let her hair down, free to flow.

"You hate it! I knew it! I'm terrible with fashion!" Natsume said.

"No, not at all. You look great! But is that really your style? I have seen you almost solely in school uniform, so I don't really know …"

"School uniform? They have sailor dresses here … Sae, could you pick one for me to try on?"

"Natsume, to tell you the truth, I am the one who is really terrible at fashion. Haven't you seen that I always dress like a boy?"

"Should I dress like a boy for you?"

"No, you are very feminine … unlike me," Sae sighed.

"T-thank you," Natsume stuttered. "And you should keep dressing like you do. It suits you … sorry, I didn't mean you are a tomboy!"

Sae smiled. "But that's what I am. You hit the nail on the head. And … could you turn around, Natsume?"

Natsume stared at her for a moment, and then twirled around.

"Buy that outfit! It looks really good on you. I mean it," Sae said.

"O-okay …" Natsume said. She turned to enter the fitting room.

"And keep it on," Sae added.

* * *

"Oh, wow!" someone said.

"Yech … another one," Natsume whispered.

They were walking along the mall and Natsume seemed to attract some attention.

"Yeah, well, the group of boys whistling at you earlier was a bit too much. Sorry I made you keep the dress on," Sae said.

"I never thought boys would even look at me … and now it feels embarrassing."

Natsume sighed. At least she saw from the corner of her eye that Sae was also looking at her a lot.

"I might as well go all the way and buy some make-up," Natsume muttered.

"Come to think of it, I have never seen you wearing any," Sae noted.

"Yeah … my parents don't allow make-up. Neither does the school, as you know …"

"Aren't you worried about what your parents will think?"

"This dress will freak them out anyway, so it doesn't matter."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't want to upset your parents. I insisted you to buy that dress –"

"Never mind," Natsume snapped. "There's a beauty parlor."

A friendly shop assistant showed Natsume the basics and put on a make-up for her.

"This feels weird …" Natsume noted, looking at the mirror.

"But you look stunning," Sae said, smiling.

Natsume glared at her. _"I she being serious at all?"_

There was a rumbling sound, and Natsume turned red.

"Are you hungry?" Sae asked.

Natsume didn't bother to answer. _"You heard it, you dummy."_

"I'm sorry I can't take you into a fancy place, because I don't have too much money. Would that be okay?" Sae said, pointing at somewhere.

"A fast-food joint?" Natsume gasped. "I have never been to one …" she whispered.

"What? Then we should definitely go there. You have missed something great!" Sae announced.

"Hmph. If you say so."

Natsume looked at everything wide-eyed. "Is the food also made of plastic?"

Sae giggled. "This is how these places are. How come you have never been to one?"

"My parents were against fast-food and other Western stuff."

"Tell your parents I forced you to go. I'll take all the blame for today."

"Where's the maître? Can we just sit down at any table?"

"What is a maître? Anyway, first we need to go to the counter and order the meals. And then we can sit anywhere."

"Oh. What's all that … stuff they are selling? I don't know what to order!"

"Do you like cheeseburgers?"

"Well … I have heard about those, but what are they exactly?"

"Maybe it's best that I order something for you. Go ahead and select a table for us, I'll bring the meals."

Heads turned as Natsume walked through the place – mostly occupied by teenagers.

"Can I take a picture?" one boy said, intercepting Natsume.

"No!" Natsume hissed.

"Hey, you! Leave her alone," Sae yelled. She was coming right behind Natsume, already carrying a tray with two burgers, fries, and two cups of lemonade.

"Sae? How did you get food so quickly? Do they microwave them or something?"

"No, they do make it properly. They have freshly made burgers and fries available at any moment, if there are enough customers. Even if there isn't, it takes just a couple of minutes to make."

Natsume sat down, and started looking around. She looked at the tray, then at the nearby tables.

"Umm … Natsume? Did you lose something?"

"This is Western food, right? Where's the fork and knife?"

"Just use your hands. You can wrap the burger into the paper like this –" Sae showed how "– and then just bite into it."

"Weird."

Carefully, Natsume took a small bite. "Wow, this is good! Greasy and disgusting … but good!"

"Is this tempura?" she asked, pointing at the fries.

"No, fried potato."

"Oh. Like croquettes?"

"No, just fried and salted potato."

Using only the tips of her fingers, Natsume picked up one and took a little taste. "This is good too …"

She wiped her fingers clean with a napkin.

"And, lemonade? That's something I have tasted … I secretly bought cans of soda from the school automate sometimes," Natsume confessed, with a guilty look on her face.

Sae giggled. "Sorry, you are just so … cute at the moment."

"Me? Cute?" Natsume gasped. Her expression of surprise was even cuter.

Sae laughed aloud. "Is this … _deredere? _Now I'm starting to get it!"

"What the heck are you talking about?" Natsume yelled, looking annoyed.

"Don't you watch anime, Natsume?"

"No … my parents …" Natsume sighed.

"They don't allow anime and manga? I should have guessed."

"I don't think I have missed anything important in this case. I have seen a bit of anime. It gave me a headache. All that yelling and fighting and explosions…"

"You have seen the wrong type of anime then."

"Anyway, I like reading better … except …"

"What?"

"Your novels aren't the kind my parents would approve," Natsume said quietly. "Anyway, let's not talk about my upbringing."

"I think your parents did a great job."

"Yeah … except … I have often felt … uhh … lonely …"

"Sorry to hear that."

"B-but I'm not feeling lonely now … Sae …"

Sae had a feeling that Natsume might try to confess or something. This was not the place for something like that, so she said quickly, "Let's just enjoy the meal! Could we visit that artists' shop after this?"

"Sure …"

* * *

Natsume sighed. She had been correct in that the artists' shop made her feel as if she was in school. And Sae was really taking her time. Impatiently, Natsume wandered around, and noticed a large mirror at the next shop. She flinched as she saw herself, having forgotten her makeover.

"Just a moment. I'll pack these into my bag," Sae said.

Natsume mumbled something affirmative. She was still looking at herself, wondering whether she really looked good. _"At least boys seem to like me … hope Sae really meant it too …"_

Natsume snapped out of her thoughts and looked around. She couldn't see Sae anywhere. "Sae?"

"_She decided she didn't like our date and left!"_

"Sae!" Natsume moaned.

"Natsume? What's wrong?"

It was Sae's voice. She had been just a few feet away, hidden behind other people for a moment. "I was looking at these skirts. Maybe I should try wearing a skirt sometime. The only skirt I have is the school unif–"

Natsume interrupted her. "Sae! I thought you got bored and left!"

"Of course not! Why would I do something like that?" Sae said.

Despair had turned into a relief, but after all the emotions during these two days, this was the last straw. Natsume's jaw twitched and she felt that the tears were about to come. She looked around, trying to find an escape route.

Sae saw her expression and realized Natsume was about to break apart. _"I must do something!"_ she thought, and grabbed her arm.

"S-Sae …" Natsume gasped.

"Natsume … let's talk," Sae said, and dragged Natsume into an empty alcove nearby.

"I heard you talking to yourself in the clothing store … you said you liked me from the moment we met. That was almost two years ago. Why didn't you tell me before?" Sae said.

"Because …" Natsume took a deep breath, and blurted out everything she had in her mind. "First I thought you were with Hiro, and then I heard you had had so much experience and so many girlfriends and boyfriends, so I thought you would tell me if you liked me … and then I tried to compete with you and failed every time because I am so weak, stupid, and ugly and nobody ever likes me!"

By now, she was sobbing. She still wanted to run away, but Sae held her by the arm.

"Natsume, you are not ugly. You are beautiful," Sae whispered.

"Don't say such things out of pity," Natsume cried.

Sae pulled Natsume into a hug. "It's not pity! Don't you trust me?"

"No! Yes … I mean … it's just … sheesh! By the way, Sae! Before we go out, I should mention that I'm a virgin!"

"Eh?" Sae said.

"You were supposed to laugh …" Natsume said, buried her face into Sae's neck, and cried.

* * *

Natsume thought of becoming a _hikikomori._ Are there any female ones? Must be quite rare indeed.

Natsume's dress is the same as Mio's dress one in K-On!, except for the little silk hat, and a bit different colors. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure whether that would really suit Natsume. I should try drawing her in that dress…

Somehow along the way I started to think that Natsume is from a rather posh family. This is not canon! As far as I know.

Whoops. Sae _still_ didn't really confess to Natsume. (ñ_ñ) (But it's getting quite obvious she will…)


End file.
